My Firstborn

17 years ago today, my first child was born - I became a parent - I became a mommy. I looked into my child’s eyes for the first time and knew my life was changed forever.

So much has happened in the last 17 years. He has grown from my baby to a young man. A young man learning for his driver’s license. A young man with a job. But a young man who still needs his mommy sometimes.

I decided to re-share today the drawing I did of Effi 2 years ago as it reflects the same feelings I feel today.

In this drawing I was dealing with my emotions of my child growing into a man. Spiraling away from me into his own spiral. Changing and growing but the center is still with me. It was suppose to be an image of him today but as I was drawing I realized that I was putting in a lot of what he looked like as a child. It was a strange experience. I meant to draw one thing, but my mind and emotions, memories and love, changed it into something else. It is how I see him, and probably, only me. It is my Effi. I see the man in front of me, but I still see in him the child that was. My baby, my son.


Happy Birthday Effi!

Teaching the Art of Mandalas to Kids

     One of the classes I teach in my studio is to 6-7 year olds. I love this class. Well, I have to admit, that I love all my classes. Each group is unique and has its own personality.  I truly feel privileged that this is my job!!!  People coming together every week, to create together and connect in my studio. It’s a beautiful thing.

     Kids have a special way of seeing the world. Pablo Picasso said "It took me 4 years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child." This is because as we grow up we are influenced by society and life; and our insecurities and our life experiences influence our creativity. I think what Picasso meant when he said this was that it took him a lifetime of painting to get back to that feeling of painting like a child. You can be taught to paint (not all of us to the level of Raphael  or Picasso! ), but to get back to that childlike excitement of painting, to experience art as a child, the feel of mixing colors and touching different mediums….that's what we need to get back to! I try to teach that to all my students. But for this class, I don’t need to! They still have it!  And a lot of times I learn from them. I learn to see art and artists through their eyes.  This week I decided to try to teach them about Mandalas. I wrote about Mandalas in my blog a few weeks ago and I have taught this to grown up students, but never to kids. It was an amazing experience and I wanted to share it with you.

     I started the class talking about what a Mandala is and showed them images of different Mandalas from all over the world and different cultures. We talked about how a Mandala is a way for us to express ourselves in a special way and connect with ourselves and the world around us. I had them close their eyes and do a little meditation exercise. It was very cute to see their reactions to this. My 7 year old daughter is in this class and I have been doing meditation with her since she was 3 years old. She uses breathing techniques all the time to help herself get through hard situations. When she is really upset, she will go to a corner, close her eyes, and just concentrate on her breathing – in and out -  it works every time! But, here she was the top giggler at the beginning! They were a bit self-conscious, but soon got into it. I had them focus on their breathing - in and out - and then told them to think of something they wish for, or a prayer or a thought for someone in their life. I told them to imagine this wish/prayer as a little light in their heart growing as they breathe in and out, growing and warming their body as it spreads through them and out around them to a circle surrounding them. I then told them to open their eyes and to draw a mandala starting in the middle of the page and like the light starting in their heart and growing out, to draw the Mandala starting in the center and growing out. I got the idea for this lesson from a website on Mandalas- http://illuminatedrose.com/mandala_kids.htm 

     The Mandalas that they drew were AMAZING!!!  I put out on the table A LOT of different materials for them to experiment with and express themselves through. We had collage, paints, pastels, markers and different brushes and stamps, finger painters and combs to play with texture and let’s not forget the 6-7 year olds favorite- GLITTER!!!. They really got into the paints and the colors; experimenting with different textures. Since I got permission from their parents I would like to share their work with you. I hope you enjoy seeing what they did as much as I 

enjoyed watching them create them!  

Amazing, Right?!

After class, my daughter was helping me to clean up the studio and there was A LOT of paint left over and papers that had been used and discarded. So we decided to make use of it all, and used the leftover paint to turn all that paper into amazingly unique textured papers that we can now use for other projects! Boy, did we have fun doing that! Here is an example of some paper we made and my very creative daughter’s work of art- notice her eye showing through!

Happy creating to us all. And may we all be able to paint like children!

Sharing my latest Commission

I want to start off this week by thanking all the amazing people that read my blog and comment on my musings. It means so much to me to know that my words touch you and you make the time to share your thoughts with me and others. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to write a  proper blog this week, But I didn’t want to go a week without posting. I would like to share with you a recent commission I did and hadn’t posted on my site yet. It is a sketch of the "Chazon Yechezkel" synagogue in the Old City of Jerusalem.

The picture is now in the gallery, and commissions page of this site. Feel free to look around and if you are, or know any one who may be interested, in commissioning a painting, feel free to contact me.

Wishing you all an amazing week, full of love, happiness, family, friendship, and of course- creativity!

In time of war...

     This isn't a political blog or a very personal one; but it is blog on women, motherhood and creativity- so I feel it’s important to discuss how we deal with being (or not being!) creative during times of stress. Sometimes during stressful situations there are no kids around and we have the time to create…this is our time. Only our thoughts are so consumed with stressful thoughts that it pushes creativity aside and paralyzes us. What if you can't find the muse to create!?

     When I was going through my divorce, for some reason I couldn't paint. I can’t explain it except to say that maybe I connect oil painting to a very emotional place in me and I didn't want to deal with that place, so I pushed it aside. But I found other ways to create. I created a lot of mosaics during that time. Something in the process of breaking things up, physically, and putting them together in a new beautiful way, spoke to me. The creative process helped me, healed me, calmed me and I found peace there.

     It took me along time to pick up my brush again. I worked with soft pastels, oil pastels and pencils and only recently got back into my oil painting again. And I love it again!

     But this past week I had an emotional blockage. I couldn't write my blog and I couldn't paint all week! I was too preoccupied with the war going on in my country. My mind was so consumed with thoughts, there was no room left for anything else.

If you aren't from Israel then you may not know there was a war going on here. Officially, it wasn't called a war. But believe me when I say that for the people in Israel it definitely felt like a war! The last time I heard sirens in Jerusalem and had to run to a safe room I was a teenager. I was living at home, a senior in high school, and my parents were there to protect me. I remember feeling that. It was a very family oriented time. We spent a lot of time at home just waiting for the sirens. We played a lot of backgammon and spent most of our time together glued to the TV to see what was going on in the country. Who was hit? How many injured? It was very scary, but I felt safe with my family.

      Last Friday night a siren went off in Jerusalem, I was home with two of my three kids. We grabbed the dog and ran into the safe room. I didn't know where my 16 year old was. I was very scared. We heard a boom -and I realized – I am the parent here. My kids are looking to me to feel safe. I didn't feel safe. My insides were screaming. Where is my son? Where did it hit? Where is my son? I hope no one got hurt! WHERE IS MY SON!!! But outside, I was calm. For my kids who were also nervous. I had to be calm and keep them calm. Hug them and reassure them that it will be okay. We just need to stay in the room 10 minutes to be sure and safe and then we will go out and see that all is okay….but inside…inside, I was scared too. And when my son came home, very shaken from the experience, I couldn't stop hugging him.

     When the next siren that went off in Jerusalem, I was teaching. I wasn't with my kids! I didn't know where they were, and that scared me. I didn't think anything had happened to them, but they weren't with me. Who is helping them feel safe?

And then a bus was blown up in Tel Aviv, and I couldn't breathe until my kids got home that day. They all take buses back and forth from school everyday…

     It has taken all my strength and emotions to keep it together for my kids. Our country was at war for a week. They saw the news. Even when Jerusalem wasn't affected we are all affected because this is a country where we are all one family. We all care for each other and want to protect each other like a family. We are all responsible for one another and want to feel safe.

     So, I couldn't write and I couldn't paint.  My thoughts were too consumed with worry and concern for my family.

     Now the painting will come again. Now I will express it all in my work. I need that distance from emotional events in my life to be able to create on them. Time to reflect, and then create. I dealt with my divorce in the end, as I dealt with my mother’s illness. I painted through it eventually. And it healed me. 

So let us all go back to creating, to living. And I wish my WHOLE family a safe, warm and peaceful week.

Mandalas- A creative journey for our soul

Mandalas- A creative journey for our soul

As you know (if you don’t, then check out my gallery page!), I use spirals in my art. I love the feeling I get painting in a spiral. It takes me back to my school days when my notebooks were filled with more doodles than notes!

I guess you can say I was happier taking notes on what was going on in my head and soul then what the teacher was saying!  Today I understand this strong connection between what is going through my head and what I am feeling to what I paint or even doodle that day.

This past week I was doing a lot of meditative art; small drawings with pencil, pen and ink. I had a lot on my mind and I find this very comforting, calming and even soul searching.

One form of art that deals with this emotional connection are Mandalas.

Mandalas are used in many religions and cultures. It is a spiritual, creative meditation that connects our inner and outer self. The psychoanalyst Carl Jung saw the Mandala as " a psychological expression of the totality of the self" Jung maintained that the mandala describes our soul, our center point, symbolizing the self. Children draw mandalas instinctively; they are in nature in a variety of forms. The essence of the mandala is a circle, spiral- like, in  nature. Spirals are everywhere from galaxies, trees, shells, flowers or even how a drop of water hits 

water it makes a spiral.

  

The circle symbolizes perfection, endless space surrounding us and our thoughts. It describes our physical and spiritual circle.

In different religions, it is used as a way to connect and meditate on our connection with ourselves and G-d; a type of prayer through art.

A mandala is an intuitive form of drawing/painting. The center parallel to our own center. We connect through line, form and color with ourselves and create a feeling of balance and calm.

This is a mandala I drew this week. Only after I finished it did I realize I had been thinking of my son that was in the army for the week.

The green I subconsciously picked is the same as his uniform, but also the green of nature. He is growing up and away from me, my center. He is part of something bigger. His spiral 

intertwined with this country he will be defending.

If Mary Cassatt had a blog…

If Mary Cassatt had a blog…

…or any of the other amazing female artists from a time without Internet and blogging - what would they have blogged about?

     Today, so many artists have blogs or are connected to other artists through online networking. We get support beyond our  immediate environment and interact with people all over the world without traveling. This has opened a number of doors for artists.  You can interact and learn art online, or even find where to get the best quality and priced materials. You can see art online and learn and be inspired by what you see without going to a museum (although it is NOT the same!!!!); or view the work of an artist who may not be exhibiting at museums and galleries but has an online portfolio. There are ways to show your art today that weren't available before.

     Would Mary have written a blog and shared her frustrations with society’s outlook on woman artists in those days? Would she have shared her ambitions to paint professionally against these prejudices?  Maybe she would tell tales of her school days and how she didn't think she was learning anything so she moved to Paris and copied the masters at the Louvre. We could have heard of the people she met there. The frustrations of submitting work to the Salon and not being shown. The fact that her father disapproved of her way of life and wouldn't give her money for art supplies. How she almost gave up in despair.She went to America and wrote in a letter in July 1871- "I have given up my studio & torn up my father's portrait, & have not touched a brush for six weeks nor ever will again until I see some prospect of getting back to Europe. I am very anxious to go out west next fall & get some employment, but I have not yet decided where."  

     Thankfully she didn't give up! Eventually she went back to Europe and had success. She was very verbal and blunt about her ideas on politics in the art world, and I am sure I would have loved to read a blog of hers. At one point she debated and tried to paint in a more fashionable manner to be more marketable and make money doing commissions for the American socialites. This is a topic many of us are well aware of today. Do we paint more marketable paintings thinking of what people would want to buy, or are we true to ourselves and paint from our souls?

     We could have read about her interaction with impressionists; her friendship with Berthe Morisot and Degas and how Degas influenced her. On seeing Degas’s work she said, "It changed my life. I saw art then as I wanted to see it.”

     Mary decided early in life that marriage would not fit in with her career choice. Is this not still a big challenge for women artists today? How to balance our creativity with marriage and children? So many woman struggle with being an artist as a career choice and only go "back" to art later in life, when they have time. Women are still battling with society’s idea of women’s roles and how we can manage a career and family. If Mary had Internet, and could interact with other woman going through similar struggles as her own, would she have still chosen this road?

Later in life Mary created her most famous series of paintings and prints. She painted mothers and children in the most soft, tender and honest way.  I love these paintings.

 Here are a few for you to enjoy…The first one I saw at the Brooklyn museum this summer and it is just amazing up close.

You can see why I would LOVE these paintings!!!

     Mary went on to be a role model for many young artists and advised art collectors on buying Impressionist art.

     Imagine what influence she would have had today.

     I would like to give blog space once a month to celebrate female artists from around the world. We can all learn from them. Their struggles and issues are our struggles and issues. I would like to try and see the world through the eyes of these amazing women, learn from them and discuss issues that were important to them and may still be relevant today.

Birth and Creation

Birth and Creation

I just experienced one of the most amazing experiences I could have ever wished to be a part of…..

A very good friend of mine honored me by asking me to be a part of her baby’s birth. Months ago, when she first asked me, I was so touched that she would want me there, but also a little nervous and scared. I had never been to anyone’s birth except those of my own children.

   I am very lucky to be able to say that I brought 3 very different children into this world, each in their own unique and beautiful way. Each pregnancy and birth was so beautiful, natural and miraculous. When I was pregnant with my first child, I devoured every book I could get my hands on about pregnancy and birth. I wanted to be prepared!   My favorite books (and those I reread in preparation for this experience) were by the amazing Ina May Gaskin. The book- Spiritual Midwifery blew my mind away. I loved being pregnant and was really looking forward to having this little person in my life, but I was scared of the actual birth experience. We are always afraid of the unknown, aren’t we? But these books helped me see the spiritual, emotional and loving side of the birth itself. My births turned out to be beautiful experiences in my life and I am sure that the positive way my children came into this world has helped in starting them off to be the amazing people they now are and are still growing into.

Now, I have a little secret. When I grow up (ha-ha!) I want to be a Doula. I would love to be able (if I can) to help other woman have such positive birthing experiences. I can't think of a better way to spend my life than by being apart of bringing life into this world.

My experience from the past 2 days with my friend has only strengthened this as a goal in my life. It was so beautiful. To be a part of the journey of this little soul into this world, and to help make that journey as calming and positive for the mom and dad.

I am so honored and moved to have witnessed such love between two people and the creation that love inspired.

Today I’m looking at the world slightly different (Although, It could be from lack of sleep)…I see creation, I see love, and I see miracles.

It was by birth and connection with myself as a mother that brought me back to my art. Art is like birth and motherhood.  I am lucky to be creating art daily and helping others on their journey of creation and connecting to that part of themselves.

I hope someday I will be as blessed to be helping people bring their creations into this world through childbirth as well.

For now, all I can say is THANK YOU to my friends for inviting me along on such a beautiful, personal and loving journey.