Thursday, October 25, 2012

Birth and Creation

Birth and Creation

I just experienced one of the most amazing experiences I could have ever wished to be a part of…..
A very good friend of mine honored me by asking me to be a part of her baby’s birth. Months ago, when she first asked me, I was so touched that she would want me there, but also a little nervous and scared. I had never been to anyone’s birth except those of my own children.
   I am very lucky to be able to say that I brought 3 very different children into this world, each in their own unique and beautiful way. Each pregnancy and birth was so beautiful, natural and miraculous. When I was pregnant with my first child, I devoured every book I could get my hands on about pregnancy and birth. I wanted to be prepared!   My favorite books (and those I reread in preparation for this experience) were by the amazing Ina May Gaskin. The book- Spiritual Midwifery blew my mind away. I loved being pregnant and was really looking forward to having this little person in my life, but I was scared of the actual birth experience. We are always afraid of the unknown, aren’t we? But these books helped me see the spiritual, emotional and loving side of the birth itself. My births turned out to be beautiful experiences in my life and I am sure that the positive way my children came into this world has helped in starting them off to be the amazing people they now are and are still growing into.
Now, I have a little secret. When I grow up (ha-ha!) I want to be a Doula. I would love to be able (if I can) to help other woman have such positive birthing experiences. I can't think of a better way to spend my life than by being apart of bringing life into this world.
My experience from the past 2 days with my friend has only strengthened this as a goal in my life. It was so beautiful. To be a part of the journey of this little soul into this world, and to help make that journey as calming and positive for the mom and dad.
I am so honored and moved to have witnessed such love between two people and the creation that love inspired.
Today I’m looking at the world slightly different (Although, It could be from lack of sleep)…I see creation, I see love, and I see miracles.
It was by birth and connection with myself as a mother that brought me back to my art. Art is like birth and motherhood.  I am lucky to be creating art daily and helping others on their journey of creation and connecting to that part of themselves.
I hope someday I will be as blessed to be helping people bring their creations into this world through childbirth as well.
For now, all I can say is THANK YOU to my friends for inviting me along on such a beautiful, personal and loving journey

Friday, October 5, 2012

Today was a good day!

     Today was good day!
     I feel a little guilty saying this knowing that my kids weren’t home at all. Their father took them camping for two days and I decided to use that time to do all the things I haven’t been able to do when the kids are  home.
     So… the first day, I DID NOTHING!!!! It was amazing! I hadn’t done that in so long! Just sat around in my PJs  reading, watching TV, catching up on facebook….Okay, okay…so I did do some practical stuff, like  banking, laundry and cleaning, but I did it very relaxed!!!!
     Today started with surprise. A friend of mine took a course this year called "Oh Mama", at Hebrew University. Its focus was on Art and Motherhood. It was a fascinating course and she decided to write her paper at the end of the year about me and my art. During the year, we had sat together often and discussed art and motherhood. She interviewed me about my art, and this morning I read the paper she wrote. It moved me to tears!  First of all, it was interesting to read about myself!  Plus some of the things she wrote about my art were enlightening. She saw things that I never thought of, or intended, in my paintings. I always use to wonder what some of the artists in museums and books would think about the interpretations we have made of their art work. Reading this paper today gave me a feeling of what it is like to have someone else write about you and your intentions from their perspective. I hope her professor is as moved as I was!!!
     I then spent the rest of the day PAINTING!!!! What a pleasure! I really haven’t done that in too long.  During the month of August the kids were home everyday, all day, leaving no time to paint. Then the school year started and I thought I would be able to get back into my painting. But then I was too preoccupied with planning all my classes and teaching (and learning to write a blog!) to find that big chunk of time to really dive in. Today I did, and boy does it feel great!  If you are an artist you know that feeling: that amazing feeling of getting lost in your artwork. It is the best feeling on earth. It is a spiritual, emotional and physical awakening. I feel energized, like I haven’t in awhile. I have noticed that about myself over the years: that when I don’t create I get down and when I am creating I am a different person.
     So, how do we find that balance between motherhood, life, work, and creating our art so we stay personally balanced?
     I think the problem is sometimes we want all or nothing. If we can’t find that perfect time, complete quiet, no kids…or whatever other obstacles we lay out for ourselves, we cannot create. I know I am like that. I need my space and time to paint. So for now, I am looking for that balance within my life, cause I am a mother, partner and teacher and all those things will get their full attention; but I need to –no, I HAVE to -  paint. I have to for my own sanity, in order to be a good mother, partner and teacher. Therefore, I am putting aside one day a week from now on. I have one morning that I don’t teach and I am NOT going to go shopping or meet friends or even read a book! I will paint! The dishes will still get done, the laundry sorted and food will be on the table … and I will be HAPPY to do it!!!!
     So, don’t make excuses to not create! Make time for yourself. Put time aside every week to create. The time will never be perfect so don’t try to make it so or wait for it to be, just DO IT!!!!!
Is anyone else struggling to find that balance? Write a comment here and share your experience. Maybe we can all learn from each other and encourage one another….